Tuesday, September 23, 2008

The Baxter Dawg Golfer Gopher!

Hi Folks! Given the current economic woes, I have started my own business:

Baxter, Your Own Personal Golfer Gopher - you hit it, I find it!!

Good golfer, bad golfer, it doesn't matter!!! In the rough or in the sand, I can dig that ball out for you. And as an animal, I can be considered part of the course "hazards" under certain rule interpretations!

And for extra, I'll even fetch your ball from water hazards...what?

Disclaimer - water hazards must not be more than 6 inches deep, have no signs of large alligatory or crocodillian reptiles in residence and be between the temperatures of 85 and 105 degrees F.

And you can upgrade to the "Hole In One!" plan, where for our special customers, the Baxter Dawg will not only FIND your ball, but he will carry it to the hole and drop it in!*

*hole in one club does not guarentee than hole used is the hole the golfer is actually playing. Does not include tax, tag, and title. Your mileage may vary.

Thank you!! Call 1-800-BAXTER-RULZ to get yours today!

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Swimmin and Boozin' Dawg

We got a pool installed at the temporary B-Crib - complete with solar roof heater thingy and it is AWESOME. I have been working on my dives and my dawg paddle and its great for when I get hot, I just go sit on the top step - instant desert AC.

But last night, I got into Mum's wine... I might have had too much. Mum swears the floors were flat and not moving, but I think she was playing a MEAN trick on the B-dawg. But I liked the wine. Mum calls it Pee-nooo Greee-Zhee-Oooo and I couldn't get enough of it. Mum eventually had to put her glass away because, even with the floor and the rooms spinning, I kept trying to get more. Mum said I need a 12 step program. Whatev. I saw she's still got more of it in the fridge... I am going to bide my time.

Anyway, I might have maybe fallen in the pool in my (mum's words:) "drunken stupor" last night. But I swam around and got out. No biggie, but mum was NOT pleased.

Today, I decided to pass on the pool thing. But I was tempted. Really tempted.